


Where's the Magic?

by eccenteric



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Awareness Week, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, asexual younghoon but he doesn't know he's ace, last day of ace week just so happens to be halloween huh, last minute fic in honor of ace awareness week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27301108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccenteric/pseuds/eccenteric
Summary: Younghoon always dreamed of experiencing the magic that comes with dating. He wanted to feel the butterflies in his stomach every time he saw his partner, the fireworks exploding when his lips met another, and everything else to make his heart flutter. Now that he found someone he liked (and took forever to ask out), his ideal romance would finally come to life.Or not.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q, Kim Younghoon/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Where's the Magic?

**Author's Note:**

> happy last day of ace awareness week lmao
> 
> would've written this earlier if i wasn't swarmed with schoolwork. not beta read btw.
> 
> anyways enjoy this short fic of me trying to represent a piece of myself through younghoon ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Younghoon doesn’t know how they got to the topic, but Changmin was currently interrogating him about his love life, and boy, did he regret spending his break with this dramatic hamster.

“You guys only kissed  _ once? _ ”

He waved his hands around in an attempt to shush Changmin who screamed his sentence out into the quiet cafe instead of speaking in a normal volume.

“You’re so damn loud, oh my god. And yes? We haven’t been dating for long so…”

“It has been  _ three _ months,” interrupted Changmin, seemingly offended by the newfound information. Younghoon only shrugged.

Indeed, three months had passed since he asked his classmate Hyunjae to be his boyfriend. But what was the big deal? He considered physical affection to be very intimate and wanted to take his time on his first relationship. Hyunjae even agreed to his wish to take things slowly, so one day they would share more kisses.

Except he didn’t feel too sure about doing that. Younghoon realized on the day of his first kiss that kissing didn’t feel as magical as he was convinced it would be for his whole life. Maybe he expected a feeling so great, so amazing he would forget how to breathe up until the moment Hyunjae’s lips pressed against his. Maybe it was just him who expected a little bit too much than the average person so he felt more let down. Either way, he reached the conclusion that if given the chance, he would rather not kiss again.

Younghoon felt bad about not wanting to kiss Hyunjae. With no doubt, Hyunjae presented himself as the perfect boyfriend. From his boisterous laugh to his honey sweet vocals, Younghoon helplessly fell harder for him day by day. And with each passing day, he worried more and more over telling his boyfriend how he felt. What if Hyunjae thought he didn’t like him anymore? The last thing he wanted to do was lose him, so how was he supposed to tell Hyunjae, someone he might be falling in love with, that he never wanted to kiss again without accidentally sending the wrong message?

Changmin sighed. “Listen, I know it’s your first relationship, but surely you’ve watched romance movies? What you have going on with Hyunjae seems closer to a friendship than a relationship.”

Hearing that, Younghoon froze mid-sip of his smoothie. What if Hyunjae felt that way too? He really,  _ really _ didn’t want to lose him. Things would be much easier if kissing actually felt as nice as it seemed.

“Ooh, is this drama I hear?” Chanhee’s voice floated in from behind him and stopped his train of worries. He turned his head to see the ever so cheerful boy approach their table and head straight for Changmin, who tilted his head upwards to greet the other with a peck on the lips.

“And I’m out. See you guys never.”

However, the two boys were already in their own little world, so Younghoon just left with his smoothie in hand. On his way to and during class, he pondered over the direction of his relationship once more. Even if Hyunjae was fine with the physical affection limitations for now, he would eventually want to do more, right?

_ More, huh… _

Somehow the idea of having sex never occurred to him. But now that he thought about it, he’s pretty sure that even if he did think about it earlier on in his life, he would’ve stopped as soon as he started. The concept of being naked with another person made his stomach flip-flop uncomfortably. He was much more comfortable thinking about kissing instead.

While his mind was back on the topic, he entertained the idea that maybe he needed time to adjust to liking kisses. Sure, his first kiss felt weird and slightly... _ boring, _ dare he admit, but one day he would eventually feel the fireworks. He just needed to try kissing more.

.....

The idea sounded better in his head, but now that his boyfriend was right next to him, it didn’t sound so easy (or appealing) anymore.

_ You can do this Younghoon! Just close your eyes and go for it! _

“Hyunjae!” Younghoon blurted out, desperate to put his plan into action and hopefully feel something different from last time. As soon as Hyunjae’s head turned to face him, he awkwardly pressed his lips onto him and hoped to feel something, even a tiny spark. What he got in return was a giggle, so he hurried off of his boyfriend’s face, extremely embarrassed.

“You know you don’t have to force yourself to kiss me, right?”

He knew. He knew that, but throughout the day, he had developed some sort of illogical guilt because he might never be able to give Hyunjae anything more than cuddles. He didn’t owe anything to his boyfriend, and he didn’t expect anything back in the first place. Still, he couldn’t shake off the thought that the relationship wouldn’t last if he couldn’t fulfill the physical aspect of it.

“Can you kiss me then?”

Hyunjae looked surprised at his request. “Are you sure? I meant it when I said I was okay with taking things slow.”

Younghoon nodded before he could back out of his plan. He already knew he wasn’t going to like it, but he had to try for Hyunjae.

Dreading the outcome, he closed his eyes, bracing himself for Hyunjae’s lips to meet his own. When their lips eventually met, disappointment filled Younghoon. This kiss was no different from the last. He didn’t feel uncomfortable or anything, yet he wanted it to end the moment it started.  _ Do people actually enjoy doing this? _ Their lips moved together at a steady rhythm, twisting their heads to a different angle every so often. Hyunjae’s hands rested on Younghoon’s shoulders, but his own hands stayed put.

Eventually, Younghoon pulled away from the kiss, afraid it would go on for longer than he could handle, which wasn’t much to begin with. The disappointment in him grew bigger. The issue was now beyond him wanting to take things slowly. He didn’t like kissing the way the rest of the world seemed to, and he couldn’t help but to assume there was something  _ wrong  _ with him. How was he supposed to keep Hyunjae around now?

“Hey, you alright?”

“Huh?” Younghoon broke away from his thoughts and was met by Hyunjae’s frown.

“Your face has ‘I’m in distress’ written all over it. What’s wrong?”

His heart dropped. He couldn’t escape this situation. If he lied, Hyunjae would be able to tell, but to tell the truth would be to wave goodbye to his relationship. No matter what he did, he would have to confess the truth.

“I have to tell you something, but please don’t hate me.”

“There’s nothing you could do to possibly make me hate you.”

Younghoon sighed.  _ I guess I’m doing the impossible, then. _

“I…”

Hyunjae gave Younghoon what he thinks was supposed to be a reassuring squeeze, but it only stressed him out more.

“I don’t like kissing you.”

Hyunjae looked absolutely  _ broken _ from his declaration. “You don’t… You don’t like kissing me?”

_ Good fucking job Younghoon. _ “No, no, no! Not like that. You’re perfect, oh my god. I meant—“ Younghoon facepalmed, gathering his thoughts again before he continued.

“I don’t like kissing, but I added ‘you’ because you were the one I was kissing a moment ago- You get what I mean.”

“Oh. Then why did you ask me to kiss you?”

Younghoon proceeded to explain all the thoughts he had throughout the day, going into maybe too much detail, but Hyunjae didn’t seem to mind.

“So, yeah. I don’t think I want to kiss you, or anyone else for that matter-“

“Okay.”

“-so we can end things right here if… Wait, okay?”

“Yes, I said okay.” Hyunjae laughed.

“Even if I never want to have sex with you?”

Younghoon felt Hyunjae’s fingers interlocking with his own. “Even if it means you never want to have sex with me.”

“Thank God.” He let himself smile as he felt a wave of relief washing over him. “I thought you were gonna hate me or think I didn’t like you anymore because of it.”

“Now why would I react like that? I like you for you, Hoon. I’m not with you for your body.”

His chest fluttered from the butterflies overflowing from his stomach.  _ This  _ was the magic he’d been dreaming of all along. The sincerity, the  _ love _ coming from his boyfriend was more than he could ever wish for.

“And maybe I know something about you that you don’t.”

Younghoon tilted his head at that. “What do you mean?”

“Ever heard of asexuality?”

**Author's Note:**

> mayhaps i need to practice my writing skills bc for sure this could've been written better.
> 
> [ twt ](https://twitter.com/ruberics_cube) | [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/ruberics_cube)


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